Not long after I wrote the little intro for this here page, I trash it. Who gives a shit about the ethics of doing a born against webpage? who really cares what they did after the band broke up? I was just sitting here playing guitar when Critical Mass NYC rode by on their pre-Halloween ride. They stopped and blocked the traffic in the busy intersection outside my building, and intersection where I last week I saw someone get pulverized by a speeding cab. I was thrilled to see them, even if I felt left out (I'm too spastic to ride a bike here). I leaned out my window to watch the drivers honk like idiots at the celebrating bikers (I love how stupid drivers think they have horns to scold people rather than to signal danger, fuckheads). So I was smiling and waving when suddenly some asshole attacked one of the riders, punching him. The victim tried to defend himself and get away, and the cops who had been tailing the bikes sauntered over to break them up. I feel crushed right now. All my happiness at getting to see a rad action flushed down in a stupid act of violence. Someone really felt that a person stopping traffic for a few minutues to point out issues of transportation and lifestyle was such a threat that one of them needed to be physically brutalized. I hate violence, it makes me feel like vomiting. I hate it on my street, I hate it at shows. I hate having my nose broken at hardcore shows because I don't like seeing 300 pound men beat up women half their size. I hate the society where this is expected, where in Philly a driver purposely ran over a Critical Mass rider. I feel sick. This sickness is why I listen to and participate in the hardcore scene. This is what made me feel like punk rock was the only place I made sense. Something like this makes hardcore seem so trivial and so crucial at the same time. It also makes it painfully obviious that hardcore cannot be just about the music. It isn't shows or colored vinyl or internet bulletin board gossip sessions. If hardcore isn't part of a search for the cure to a sick society then it isn't shit.